So, it’s been a full week since my last post. Oops. Life has been crazy… and somehow not, at the same time. I haven’t really talked much about my day-to-day life here, so now I’m going to give you a little peek
/ramble. Unfortunately, I don’t have much about my music to share. I’ve been working a lot, and stressed the rest of the time, which doesn’t make for a great creative atmosphere. I haven’t been getting anywhere near where I wanted to with my album, and it’s disappointing. I know I need to dedicate more time to it, but sometimes sheer grinding at it when I’m stressed out only makes me want to give up! I’ve been focusing more on trying to get bookings and connect with other musicians, but so far that hasn’t been going as well as I’d hoped. All I can do right now is soldier on, and hope that that eventually pays off.
In better news, I started an unpaid internship in August and my last day was this weekend!
It was homecoming at my old school, and I was helping with registration and getting all the events set up. It was a bit crazy. There were literally thousands of people there, not including all of the students milling around, drunk by noon, dressed up for the football game. Everyone seemed to be having a great time and things went smoothly, and my work day didn’t feel that long since it was such a rush. There were a couple of times where it felt like I just made someone’s day, which was a great feeling. I got to say goodbye to all my coworkers too. They were genuinely all so lovely, and I had a great experience there, so though I won’t miss the hour long commute each way, I will miss them!
I also worked the local election for two days. 10 hour shifts with no breaks except for quick bathroom trips, it was long! Not a lot of people showed up, and my job was pretty quick and easy anyway, so I got a lot of spare reading done.
That, above, is the cute clutch I bought myself at Chapters while I was waiting for my Teavana interview. I have nowhere to wear it out to, but that’ll change. I’ve been in three interviews over the past two weeks with retail stores for seasonal work, which is great. I landed one job, and have been told that unless they find they don’t have any hours for me, I’m hired. It’s a really bittersweet feeling, to be honest. I’m not ungrateful, and I’m excited. I’ll get sales experience and more job references, stuff to put on my resume, and a little cash to stash away for Christmas. They’re both stores that I shop in anyway, and I like their products, so unless all of my coworkers are total dillholes, it’ll be a nice atmosphere.
It’s just not where I pictured I’d be right now. I worked so hard through college to try and get any sort of job at all, and couldn’t land one. Now, in a small town, I finally have the chance, but going back to something I was qualified for in my first year of high school after I worked my ass off for a degree is not what I envisioned. I didn’t think I was going to land my dream job right away, but by now I thought I’d be settled in a city. I’d have my own place, a job that pays more than minimum wage, I’d have a social circle to move around in. I wouldn’t still be living with my parents in a small town where there’s nothing to do, and where all of my friends are hours away from, with few opportunities to meet anyone else my age. I expected more out of the world, and more out of myself. I’ve been networking, doing volunteer work, applying like a mad woman, doing all the right things, but nothing has come of it. I’m not “too good” for this job, and I am grateful to have one, even if it is only over Christmas. I just feel like I’ve been working hard enough to earn a chance at starting a career, and I’m tired of hitting my head against the wall trying to make that happen.
I know I’m not the only one in that boat either. Thousands of people my age are stuck where I’m stuck, and that’s okay. It’s not out of laziness, or for lack of passion, and that’s all anyone could ask of us.
So yeah, that’s my life right now! I don’t mean to be a negative Nancy, but I also don’t want to pretend that I don’t struggle, in the hopes that someone else will feel a bit better knowing somebody can relate.
How’s your week been? What’s bittersweet in your life right now?